I just saw something 2

You see, there's a difference between knowing the Bible, being regenerated, being who I was prior to 2002 on the one hand, and then being a real hardcore Christian on the other.

The latter is when you enter the 'weird' zone (I say honestly without mocking the faith). Prior I could still be the secular person high on the Homeric epics and practical knowledge on inner development that was delivered in very secular mode (the Work sources) and all that. But when you convert everything is filtered and wrapped with a more serious consciousness of your own real situation as a fallen human being in need of saving.

This is why the Work crowd, such as it was, literally scattered. Literally! ("Run away!")

So then, though, as this new person I wasn't as adept yet with my subject as I had been with the Work, and I was sort of in an in-between state and an undeveloped stated regarding my understanding of the new thing: biblical doctrine and practice.

But you can see how fast I work, because I read what I was writing in 2002 and 2003 and '04 and I had already gotten the 'whole' that is there to get from the Bible and theology, and it is the summit of what theologians write about and all that. Still you have to settle into it all, grow into it, and get real understanding over time. You can be a tyro immediately and know real things, but you're still a live wire.

Now I can step back; with perspective; and be more of an anchored source in my delivery. If I get into that having-an-audience stage again.

I just saw something

I just saw something about myself that explains to me some of my anchorless condition I've been in for quite a few years. When you all first met me I was still the Homer, Plutarch, Shakespeare, Parzival person who knew the Work and wrote about it. I can see that 'me' clearly. Then... I transitioned into the necessary Christian territory. This was necessary, but left me less sure of my surroundings. The average Christian and Christian environment is a bit shallow to say the least.

And I don't want to make it sound facile, but 9/11, that event and the date attached to the event, was some kind of strange marker or milestone as it turns out. Because it happened for everybody it seems facile to claim it as a milestone for yourself personally, but I think it has to do with the otherworldly and plan of redemption aspects of that event. It was a biblical event, in other words. A shock on a universal scale. The Work stuff was more innocent prior to that date (I shouldn't say that though because it was dead real no matter world events; we're not attached to world events in that sense). I mean even the writing and exchanges and all that on Work forums. After 9/11 all that was a bit fractured and scattered about.

Then I converted. You convert when you begin to learn real biblical doctrine. Learn what you are to have faith in and what you are to repent of, and why it all is. Why you need a saviour. Regeneration happened years - many years - prior, but actual conversion happened after 2001. (Though I have to toss in the fact that I was learning real doctrine prior to that too, but it was more an intellectual pursuit than the activity of real conversion. But we always have to write about these things as if they are more defined and clear cut than they are.)

So that's why I've been in this drift, and havn't given a sense of wholeness and anchored understanding like I perhaps could prior to 9/11.

I broke myself down again to accept the orthodox Christian teaching. Just as I got broken down prior to connecting with Work teaching in a real way.

Hence my juvenile style (intentionally, yet still juvenile) when interacting on Christian subjects.

But I am coming out of that and consolidating now. Which means I can discourse on the Plan of Redemption from understanding. And what the mystics know from understanding.

medium wisdom

We can be doing anything, really, as long as we are taking in higher (for us) influences and provoking and extending our limits. Then what we 'do' is really just puppet-on-a-string stuff. Because no matter how serious you get about something a point is reached where you start thinking about a Diet Coke and Panini (or whatever your particular thing is). Or about going to sleep. Or about seeing that must-see game (or whatever). You write an essay getting to the foundational truth of everything and include practical knowledge about how to reach the supernatural, then you go get a drink and turn on some sporting event.

Mystics, even. They wake up. "Oh, God. Here I am still." Then they get involved in politics and get famous causing trouble. Nothing else to do.

There's nothing to do! (Maybe it's enough to introduce the average person to the very first levels of awakening - as they spit at you and call the police - because most people are, you know, where they are, in the average sense...)

Nevertheless, one can can engage higher influences and provoke and extend limits no matter what is going on or what we are 'doing'...

Something big

I just now opened a rare volume of John Calvin's, his Sermons on Ephesians, and where I opened it he was talking about how Christ comes to us, and about the Lord's Supper, and what it means spiritually, and it is SOOO obvious that the Lord's Supper is the second conscious shock and the developing of higher bodies (our higher body) and that is what it means that we eat Christ's body and blood. There is no question. Ritual is dead if it is mere ritual. Calvin knew this, Zwingli knew this (they were the main guys regarding pure doctrine). The first conscious shock involves accumulating the Spirit, the second involves taking on Christ's body. That moment, or time, or process of transforming negative emotion (which for us is merely emotional energy of the level of higher centers which we can only experience as explosive and negative) is the process of developing your higher body, taking on Christ's body, to put it in Christian language.

Baptism is baptism of the Holy Spirit, which is regeneration, or being born again. Baptism after that means praying and accumulating the Spirit. "Peter prayed and was filled with the Holy Spirit." (from memory, not exact wording).

Self-remembering, non-identifying, over time.

Try this after trying to make yourself taller by standing up harder

Here's something subtle: when you finally know the faith and you know that the two conscious shocks are the two 'sacraments' (at the deeper, practical level) and you know that it is only God's will that sanctifies then you can 'let go' and just 'be.' Be in the arms of the faith.

Enough with the efforts!

Efforts are good at first to see your limits and to awaken initially.

See, I saw a woman singing a Christian song and the look on her face reminded me of this. The completeness of the faith was in her face. She didn't need anything else but her faith, hope, and love. The Old and New Testaments and understanding the parts in relation to the whole (Federal Theology) are enough. The two great commandments as be awake and love your enemies. The two conscious shocks, which are effected by God's will in us, from above, when they are.

Not by self-will. So stop with that. Be guided by the Spirit. In the present. Be an idiot. (You have to cast off a lot of worldly wisdom and knowledge to be this kind of idiot.)

Know the Bible, yes. Know the history of redemption. But, I mean...allow God's will to work in you from above.

(There will still be storms and battles. There will still be provoking of limits and extending of limits. But it will come from above. And you will be complete already, at every step. It will be completeness NOW, vertical, in the Kingdom of God now, while the necessary journey continues in time until glorified.)