From decadence to new new birth

I've gotten a little decadent in my thinking vis-a-vis learning and developing.

The doctrine of not wanting to go over old ground has contributed to it. It's a real thing, but it can be a stumblingblock too, because you can learn more and re-learn what you used to know; you can reinforce past learning and development; and when you come to old influences with new level of being - in a new stage - you see more.

I mean, I read Wealth of Nations once. Probably a second reading would be worthwhile. Any great influence. Fill in the blank.

I've written things like this before, but it feels different now. I've recently retrieved all my Work books. I noticed New Model of the Universe. I recall when I first encountered it how I was saying: "This guy actually comes through." I.e. Ouspensky was actually saying new things to me. I was jaded with what other literature (all levels) could deliver then I was seeing something 'new' in Ouspensky. Same with POMPE first of all.

Recurrence is the idea that has pulled me back to the sources. I keep realizing how strange it was that my dad discoursed on recurrence at his death bed talk. He was between worlds, beyond the veil half-way. And he is talking about time that validates recurrence. Knowing my dad, his interests, the fact that such things would not be naturally in him or coming out of him made it all the more striking. My dumb siblings kept changing the subject, even as I tried to engage him on the subject, as he was lying there, very animated to speak to us all. They mocked me as usual.

Yes my dad knew, and I knew.

Also there is a simplicity in going over the influences you have already identified as valuable and complete. Plutarch, Work, Homer, Bible.

Which reminds me. Along with all this line of thought: I need to go through the Bible *away* from doctrinal works to 'trim' off what is not needed. The doctrine I know is biblical, don't get me wrong, but I want to see it now in the Bible more clearly. More purely.

For instance: I want to read the Bible as if new and see just what it is communicating to me along the lines of doctrine. I know it intellectually, just as the great theologians who say what the Bible says knew it, but to know it in that higher, more complete sense you have to get it from the Bible. It will stand out now that I've read the Bible so many times complete and have learned hardcore orthodox biblical doctrine.

So I can go through my seven book list without the waste of 'going over old ground.'

If you're not picked up in a fiery chariot (something I don't discount as a possibility) you have to hold your ground and keep developing.

Work practice too will be both old and new. The same thing, though now with more understanding and being. I've been doing that since December, yet not as complete as prior to the internet. I'll do that going forward now.

This email I will remember. I'll make it prominent. Copy it, put it at the front of my journal.

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>"For instance: I want to read the Bible as if new and see just what it is communicating to me along the lines of doctrine. I know it intellectually, just as the great theologians who say what the Bible says knew it, but to know it in that higher, more complete sense you have to get it from the Bible. It will stand out now that I've read the Bible so many times complete and have learn hardcore orthodox biblical doctrine."

The above paragraph from my previous email made me think of something. I've probably grasped practically the faith most in the arena and events of spiritual warfare. Really, I can't think of other areas. Maybe I should also include the fact of regeneration and how that changes you. You can see it in hindsight. (I should also add the experience of increasingly understanding the Bible and biblical doctrine. That is real and practical experience.) But all other ways Christians tend to experience their faith is not experience I tend to share. I can start to 'see' the spiritual world when in direct conflict with it in spiritual warfare. I can then see practically how connection to Jesus Christ means something. The Mediator, or High Priest, between God and man. How the Bible as language gives you something practical. How covenants and kingdoms and sacrifice and so on is real. How original sin and evil is real. Etc. I once noted (when challenged by atheists) that I know the faith is true because I can tangibly see the Kingdom of Satan all around me. I mean, that is at least something you can witness. Something the Bible talks of that you can see. Also your own fallen nature.

I'm listening to Scarlatti right now. I've been drowned in lower influences without realizing it. Talk radio, pop music radio, television, websites. It's striking when you put a Scarlatti on and begin listening when you havn't been near classical music for months (or years now in my case).

I've also remembered the necessity to do a full, or complete body, workout when you do a workout. Even if it's very light it makes all the difference in the world.